Memories
I just got off the phone with my oldest daughter Gloria in Texas.
Her husband, the grandkids, my former in-laws (I always called them in-loves, because of their love for the Lord and for us), Jodie, my former wife, where all at a friend’s ranch, that my in-laws, are house sitting and I could hear everyone in the background, they had just been to the river.
All of a sudden, without wanting too, I felt so very alone, not being part of the family. So many memories rushed back, flooding my mind, my heart, making me acutely aware of the impact of divorce.
Just recently I read somewhere, not sure where, maybe a blog, that divorce is not just a clean break, it is the tearing of the fabric of life, that part of me is still part of her and part of her is still part of me, it is not just wiped away.
It has been over two years now, but the hurts, the wounds, still surface at times, and I am sure they do for her too.
These are the times that I draw close to the Father for comfort, for strength, to be the man He has called me to be now. It is good to know that even in the midst of tears, hope reigns in the Lord, knowing that He is the one leading me down this path that I am on.
Knowing that He is establishing me in the calling He has on my life, to be a pen in His Hand, to write from a heart that has been touched with life, at its rawest, to give hope to others that have or are walking this path now.
As we walk with the Lord, allowing Him to take that which we have gone through, that He enables us to reach out and touch others, because we have been there and we know what it means to walk through the dark nights of the soul.
Through what we have gone through, we have learned compassion, because He has shown His compassion to us. He is teaching us to fall in love with Him again, that He becomes the focus of our life, our heart.
Then we begin to learn to love again. That out of a heart that has been transformed and conformed to His heart, we are renewing our vows to Him.
That we are never alone, He is always there, to answer the cries of our heart!
August 28th, 2006 at 23:11
I imagine your daughter and your other children were missing you too…how could they not feel your absence? Some people stay married because of not wanting the children to feel so divided…and I see no way for the whole family not to feel pain still yet too. I very nearly left my marriage too…but it was for the children I stayed and then eventually the LORD began to work on us both and now we are glad we made it to this point…if only people would be a bit more patient, if only…but you are waiting and still expecting some good things in the future too, right? Never hurts to hope and pray and wait…until God shows you a different path anyway…and know HE is not only beside you, but carrying you on these difficult days! Our FATHER is way capable of making some pretty patchwork quilts from the torn pieces of our lives…in fact, think on how a crazy quilt looks with all its uneven and mismatched edges and yet when the quilter adds the beautiful embroidery stitches along each line and makes them all different types…it is one of the most gorgeous quilts out there. We must believe, along with you, that SOMEDAY the rifts will be healed and the resulting quilt will be beautiful and breathless!! Blessings on you, brother!
Elizabeth
August 29th, 2006 at 07:58
Paul,
I hope I’ved shared this with you before, but The Holy Spirit brought this from God’s Word to my mind when I read this post:
Psalm 30:5 (MsgB)
He gets angry once in a while, but across
a lifetime there is only love.
The nights of crying your eyes out
give way to days of laughter.
I’m convinced that your “days of laughter” are just around the bend.
Hope to see you on Friday!
ITGOG (In the Grip of Grace)
Your brother in the “fellowship of His sufferings”,
GWL
August 30th, 2006 at 06:39
Paul, I can only relate to this from a child’s perspective. My parents divorced before I was a teenager (about 45 yrs. ago) and I can still remember how I felt. I pray that God will fill your heart to overflowing with His love for you.
Blessings to you.
August 30th, 2006 at 09:53
August 30th, 2006 at 10:27
August 30th, 2006 at 10:32
August 31st, 2006 at 20:03
Awwwwwwwww, puppy kisses and cuddles…nothing quite like a dog, in my opinion…they love us as close to a mom’s love or maybe even a representation of God’s love to us here on earth…SO glad to hear you get to have one there!! I have been so blessed by the different doggies in my life down through the years!! Also great news about your niece!!!
Blessings…Elizabeth
August 31st, 2006 at 20:43