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Flickering

Today is a beginning of a new season in my life!

One of the things that I promised the Lord when He gave me Hill Country Thoughts, is that I would be honest, open and real and share what He puts on my heart and that is not always an easy thing to do.

Since December till present time I have been in a real funk, just not understanding what was going on, why I am feeling the way I am feeling, why the battles, why must I deal with this constant pain, physical, asking the Lord, can’t you just remove it, can’t you just heal it?

I let the Lord know, I am tired, my emotions are a wreck. When I see families together, husband and wives, and grandparents with their grand children, so many memories flood my being, that at times it is hard to deal with it, asking the Lord, can’t I just come home, knowing already the answer to that.

But I also know my Father is able to carry me through this, if I will but stay focused on Him, allowing Him to do what needs to be done in everything and to simply trust Him.

It is easier said then done, isn’t it?

So while praying this morning, having a conversation with the Father about the last couple of months, asking Him what is going on in my life, what is happening, where am I going, what’s wrong?

In my heart, the word flickering kept coming to mind and I began to wonder about that word, what does it mean and how does it apply to my hit and miss writing of lately?

As I looked up the word, I found it to mean several things, to move irregularly, unsteady, to burn or shine fitfully or with a fluctuating light, flickering!

Then I realized what the Lord ways saying to me. That I had been allowing the events of the last couple of months, to be like a wind, that was blowing, causing me to be off course, causing me to flicker, instead of abiding in the Lord, under His covering, I was focused on me instead of Him. How often do we allow things to distract us from our relationship with the Lord, with our Father.

That we look at our situations rather than the one who is our covering, our shield, our defense, the one who prevents the flickering in our lives if we focus on Him, allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to us, that we look to the Lord at all times, in all seasons of our lives.

The one thing that I have found for sure, is if we will come with an open heart and a honest heart to our Father, He will answer. He will reveal Himself to us, even as He did to me today and make known what it is that we need to deal with in our lives, so that we can be in unbroken fellowship with Him, for that is His desire.

That we be in communion with Him at all times! That we can walk in an attitude of worship, of praise, of prayer and in doing so, we remain in tune with Him.

I don’t want to be a flickering light, do you? To be irregular and unsteady in my relationship with the Lord, with my Father, or with my friends.

Rather, I want to be a light that burns brightly, reflecting the Lord in all that I do. A steady flame, abiding in the the Lord, under His covering.

How about you?

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This entry was posted on Friday, March 10th, 2006 at 08:34 and is filed under General, Relationship, Pondering. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

14 Responses to “Flickering”

  1. Sharon L. Goemaere Says:
    March 12th, 2006 at 10:05

    Dear Brother Paul,
    Thank you for sharing so very honestly here.I have been in the same place on more than one occasion over the last 4 years.Unrelenting storms,pain in my body,sorrow in my heart,asking Jesus to take me home NOW as I felt I could not endure one more moment here on earth.But,like you,I am still here.Apparently God still has need of us here.I have also felt like I was a flickering flame ready to be snuffed out at any moment by the winds of adversity that have assailed our lives in recent days.But I am still flickering.I hope to burn brightly in days to come.I want to be a bright light for Him.Thank you once again for being so open Brother.As you can see it inspires honest sharing from others.Don’t give up.Keep writing for Him.Hang in there Brother.Have a blessed day.
    Your sister in Christ,Sharon

  2. Joshua Dawn Says:
    March 13th, 2006 at 03:36

    Hi Dad, I just got finshed reading flickering, it was very good. it is so true. I have been in the same place as well. So any way thanks for writting. Good job. I love you Dad. Joshua

  3. Curious Servant Says:
    March 13th, 2006 at 10:01

    I wrote about this a little yesterday.

    I was considering a donkey in Jerusalem that pulled a mill stone, grinding flour to be used for passover.

    That animal walked in circles for years, grinding flour.

    One sack of all that flour was used to back a loaf of flat bread that was touched by the hand of God to begin a tradition among His close associates, a tradition that multiplied itself through hundreds of generations.

    The donkey walked on, never knowing that his efforts on that day were used by God.

  4. Elizabeth Says:
    March 13th, 2006 at 10:53

    Chronic pain is indeed a hard cross to bear and one that wears down all the other parts of life. Been there for a number of years prior to a surgery that at least removed the pain…now I have other health issues to deal with. Ah, these old bodies are not that fun sometimes!

    You do have reasons to feel blue…sometimes people go into these funks without those reasons too…I live with one of those. It makes life hard for those living with someone like that too. And not really knowing a way to help them…only God can do that I think! It seems that no matter what our life consists of, most of us have to depend on God for our REAL happiness and fulfillment…so often other people fail us…and we fail them too. I am sure that God is at work in all our lives so many times when we simply cannot see or understand and feel actually forgotten by Him. Only He sees what each piece of a puzzle in life has to happen however, in order to bring about HIS plans for all of us. We do see through a glass darkly, don’t we? Hang in there buddy…we gotta keep our eyes on the goal and know that someday, SOME GRAND GLORIOUS DAY, it really will be WORTH IT ALL!! I love the song by that name, don’t you? “One glimpse of HIS dear face, all sorrows will erase, so swiftly run the race, till we see Christ.” Gotta keep on our track shoes…just a little while longer I think…
    Blessings…Elizabeth

  5. Vicki Says:
    March 13th, 2006 at 15:32

    I’ve cried out to Jesus, now I’m crying out to friends. Please pray.

  6. Paul Says:
    March 13th, 2006 at 15:42

    Hi Sharon,

    Blessings my friend!

    Thanks for blogging by and for the encouragement. It really means a lot to me and so appreciate it.

    It is good that we are able to encourage one another in the Lord.

    Indeed the Lord has a purpose for us and we must press in and focus, even in the midst of adversity, in the times of not knowing.

    We are not without hope and the Lord always brings someone along, who too, has walked this path and thus are able to encourage others, even as you have encouraged me today Sharon.

    Be blessed, I will keep on writing, I have too :) for it is like a fire within, that must come forth.

    Till later my friend,

    Writing for the King,

    Paul

  7. Paul Says:
    March 13th, 2006 at 15:45

    Hi Son,

    Thanks!!

    Made my morning! I am always blessed when you blog by to check in, to catch up with what I have written.

    I really enjoyed our visit on the phone last night.

    I love you too son!

    Love,

    Dad

  8. david Says:
    March 14th, 2006 at 10:56

    shalom, paul.
    thanks for sharing your life
    hoping and praying God’s richest blessings on your life

  9. Paula Says:
    March 15th, 2006 at 08:01

    I don’t want to be a flickering light either. I want to run this race like I’m gonna win it… Steady and true.

  10. Paul Says:
    March 15th, 2006 at 17:36

    Good Evening Curious Servant,

    Thanks for blogging by!

    Thank you for sharing about your post. I appreciate you sharing it and for writing from the heart, being open and real.

    How so very true, we never know how God will use what we have written or shared, to touch someone elses life.

    Thank you again!!

    Paul

  11. Paul Says:
    March 15th, 2006 at 17:41

    Hi Elizabeth,

    Thanks for sharing!

    Once again, the Lord has used you to encourage me through your thoughts.

    Indeed these bodies are not fun at times :)

    True happeness comes from our Father and he sees the whole picture.

    Thanks for the encouragement my friend. It means a lot to me.

    Blessings,

    Paul

  12. Paul Says:
    March 15th, 2006 at 17:43

    Vicki,

    I have been amd I am praying for you my friend.

    I will continue to keep this before the Lord.

    Prayerfully yours,

    Paul

  13. Paul Says:
    March 15th, 2006 at 17:46

    Shalom David,

    Thank you for blogging by!

    I appreciate your prayers and your encouragement. With your permission I would like to add you to my reads.

    Writing for the King,

    Paul

  14. Paul Says:
    March 15th, 2006 at 17:51

    Hi Paula,

    Amen my friend, amen!

    Now is the time for us to burn brightly and steady for the Lord, to indeed to run the race, knowing that we will will for the Father has given us the greatest coach.

    The Holy Spirit will keep us steady and true!

    Later my friend,

    Paul

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