No Way!!
If there is one thing that I have determined over the last few days is that there is no way I will let the enemy win, in this walk called life.Especially when he attacks at a time when I am pressing into the things of the Lord and I know that the Lord is bringing me into the fullness of His purpose for my life!
Church last Wednesday night was awesome. A tremendous presence of the Lord in the time of prayer, in the worship and the study of the word brought by Pastor Paul [not me
]
And what does the enemy do? He attacks me in a way that he knows will effect me most. He caused all kinds of problems with my colostomy and everything that could go wrong, went wrong, I had no control.
It began to stress me out because I had to leave quickly! No time for fellowship, to make it home in time to take care of everything.
As I was driving home, in tears, in pain, the enemy began to make me self-conscious, saying “you know, you ought to stay home, don’t go out, don’t go to church, forget Starbucks, you don’t want to be embarrassed do you? No guarantees that you will have control, your better off at home.”
That is when I looked to the Lord! I began to talk to the Lord, asking questions like, “Lord, why didn’t you just let me come home that night when I stopped breathing in ICU? Don’t you know how much I hate this Lord, who want’s me, look at me Lord? I am tired, so very tired!”
I then lifted up my heart to the Lord and I heard my Father speak: “It’s all right, I know what you are going through. I have been with you. You will finish the race. You will accomplish what I have called you to do.”
“You and many others, who are going through the trials, the battles of life, who have put your trust in me, will reflect the reality of what I am doing in you.”
“There will be many who will see in you, what I see! They will see my son being made manifested in your lives. They will see you as I see you, my child, my creation. For I have called you for a time such as this.”
“Your lives are not a mistake, what I have begun in you and in others will be accomplished!”
As I began to meditate on that, I began to weep because of the love that Our Father has for us.
We are His children, born again, adopted and part of the family of God.
He is calling us to lift up the banner of His love, of His peace and of His rest and to declare His awesome power and to know that the enemy flee’s at the very thought of the presence of the Lord in our lives!!
November 9th, 2005 at 19:59
Brother Paul,
Once again your honesty, transparency and devotion has made me realize how much I take God’s work in my life for granted.
The Apostle Paul (you resemble him in character as well as by name) said, “His strength is made perfect in my weakness!” Would to God that we all be reminded of that often so He is glorified and Christ’s life-changing power is revealed to a sick, hurting world. In reality, it is the only way to live and fulfill God’s purpose for us!
You challenge and encourage me!
Be blessed and comforted.
See you Friday!
GWL
November 9th, 2005 at 20:52
Oh, so sorry Paul…some of us, though not with that exact problem, well know such kind of issues…there was good reason I had to have a hysterectomy!! We are not in control of all things even in our bodies!
But you do have a job to do yet, because you are still here! Hang in there…we can pray things will go better for you!! I am sure in fact, that you are needed by more people than you are aware…we never really know all who care and need what we have to offer.
Blessings…Elizabeth
November 10th, 2005 at 11:06
Thank you for sharing your heart and soul with us. It’s not always an easy thing to do (trust me I know really well about how hard it is).
God didn’t take you home that night because He has a plan for you, and He needs you right here for whatever that plan is. You do a great work with your blog and Jesus shines through even that.
Have a Christ filled day!!
November 10th, 2005 at 11:56
I notice that the enemy so often attacks when I’m heading in a direction that God is calling me to.
November 10th, 2005 at 13:00
Hang in there, Paul!! The Lord loves you and is using you RIGHT NOW. It’s hard when we struggle physically and/or emotionally, for we all have those days, but don’t give up. Too many people love you and care. Too many people come here to find encouragement.
You’re in my prayers.
November 10th, 2005 at 15:16
The Lord will be with you and never forsake you, be strong and hang on to His promise…
November 10th, 2005 at 17:52
November 10th, 2005 at 17:57
November 10th, 2005 at 18:57
Paul,
I have been at such a loss for words lately, as though God is telling me to be silent, embrace life around me;let me see His life in others, as I let go and let God be God…I am always tearful as I read so many of the hearts He is truly touching, blessing and using for His glory…He is the miracle that lives in each of us….I am blessed to know you and call you friend…
Donna
November 10th, 2005 at 20:34
I’m sorry you had such a hard time. You are such a warrior! God didn’t let you go home because you are doing so much kingdom work for Him here! The blogging world would be a sad place without you in it anymore! Keep blogging for Jesus and next time the devil attacks you like that, he’s gonna have to deal with me!
Your Sis In Christ,
November 10th, 2005 at 21:13
Paul,
Eventually you will finish the course and go home, but meanwhile your honesty is a help and encouragement to those who read your writings.
Jan
November 10th, 2005 at 23:14
Paul:
sometimes I whine to God and beg him to reveal His purpose for me in this life, because I am so miserable much of the time. I suffer from depression, and sometimes I wish it would all be over. God gave me a gift through my son, and because of this, I have chosen to stay the course, and stick it out, but I still don’t like not knowing what He is doing in my life, as I find myself with yet another marriage failing. I want so badly to share my heart with others, and to share in such a way as to spare them the agony that I have endured through these marriages. But I’m not sure if that is what God wants me to do, or if He wants me to remain married. Because If I stick it out, I can’t share about it. I can’t go into it here, as I’ve given my word to my husband not to blab our business on the blogosphere, but i’m at a stuck position in life, and more than anything, I want God to reveal why he is doing what he is doing right now in my life.
Also, I would like to know your story, of how you came to be saved, and your medical condition you mentioned, is there an entry that sums this up? I read your biography and did not find these answers there.
thanks
susie
November 11th, 2005 at 00:31
November 11th, 2005 at 11:48
You know Paul, as I was reading these remarks….I was remembering how many people attended the memorial service a few years ago for my mom. She was a simple person who just went about loving everyone she could in life…some accepted that, some rejected it. But she would have been SO SHOCKED at the almost full church…we figure about 400 came…I think she would have thought that even 100 was a goodly number! I do not think any of us really knew the number or lives she touched…and so it is with probably all people. And you are touching lives for the better too! SO keep on keeping on…
blessings, Elizabeth
November 11th, 2005 at 18:09
November 11th, 2005 at 18:13
November 11th, 2005 at 18:15
November 11th, 2005 at 18:19
November 11th, 2005 at 18:22
November 11th, 2005 at 18:25
November 11th, 2005 at 18:32
November 11th, 2005 at 18:34
November 12th, 2005 at 13:51
don’t forget to buy a starbucks ornament when you’re in there next time.
i bought several this year, last year they ran out, and this year, i wasn’t going to be left behind. they are soooooo cute.
November 14th, 2005 at 06:06
Paul,
I was just reading your blog last night and then saw the note you left on The Artist Within this morning! You have the heart of an encourager, brother, and I am so blessed by your writing. I would be honored if you linked to my blog from yours. I’d like to add you to my blogroll as well.
God bless you as you continue to write for the King!
I plan to visit your blog regularly. You have many good things to say.
November 14th, 2005 at 16:18
Hi Paul, thinking of you!
November 14th, 2005 at 23:04
Boy, you really hit on the truth here, Paul. satan always attacks when we’re moving closer to the Lord and he always attacks in areas we have no control over anyway. Then he starts feeding us lies.
Amen you didn’t swallow ‘em.
God bless you!!
November 15th, 2005 at 14:55
Hi Paul, You know when you are doing your strongest in your work in the Lord is when the enemy likes to attack. Seems like you must be doing great things brother! You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Hope to catch you at Starbucks again soon!! They have my favorite, Peppermint Mocha Latte right now!!
November 16th, 2005 at 10:20
Dear brother,
Please keep in mind that many of us appreciate what you do and have you in our prayers. Do not hesitate to email me if you need anything okay?
In Him,
~Lawrence
November 16th, 2005 at 22:41
November 16th, 2005 at 22:46
November 16th, 2005 at 22:48
November 16th, 2005 at 22:51
November 16th, 2005 at 22:55
November 16th, 2005 at 22:58
November 20th, 2005 at 04:17
Paul, thanks for sharing this with us, for making yourself vulnerable by doing so. The enemy is so predictably creative, isn’t he? He picks our vulnerability and hones in, hurting our bodies as well as our psyche. (sigh) He does it to me all the time. Thanks for the reminder to keep trusting God. (hugs)
November 23rd, 2005 at 00:18