Caution, Marriages Really Are Under Attack!!
This is something that I shared on August 9, 2004, on another blog in a comment.
I felt impressed today of the Lord to share it again. It still is not easy to share, though it has been over a year.
I have edited it a little from the original because of events that have taken place since last August and I have edited it even a little more today, Wednesday, October 12, 2005.
I feel like there is someone reading this who needs to know that in spite of the way everything appears, God is still in control and He has not left you nor has He forsaken you. Just lean on Him!
It has been hard for me several times, even now, to post to the various blogs when the subject of marriage and husband and wife relationships come up, especially since my divorce, June of 2004.
A dear friend reminded me today about the accountability of our words and the things that we say. She and her husband have helped keep me accountable for the words I share, for the things that I write. They tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear.
I need to clarify, it is not that my former wife did not want to be married any more, I contributed a lot to that, in that I was not the covering that I should have been for her, for our children, for my family.
I love my family, but it was all about me, about what I was doing.
I failed as the spiritual leader of my family. I tried to create a ministry that did not exsist. Oh, it existed, in name only, I did not want people to see me as a failure and it was only after I was stripped of everything, and the Lord put people in my life, who were open and honest, who told me like it was, that I was able to see little by little, how I let the enemy in.
Jodie and I both allowed the enemy in, but mine was the greater part, because I did not see, I did not have the relationship with the Lord that I should have. It took the last three years of my life, to realize what I have lost.
The Lord has done a lot in me since then, to bring me to the place that I am now in Him, but it was at a great price, for there are always consequences to our actions, I caused Jodie to lose hope and for that I am so sorry.
I have given all this to the Lord! I daily lift her before the Lord, to ask that He minister to her, comfort her, strengthen her, give her guidance, to bless her and watch over her, to bring healing to the wounds that I inflicted spiritually and emotionally to her by not being the man of God I should have been. I hope that someday she will be able to forgive me for the hurts spiritually and emotionally.
I know that the Lord will take what was meant to destroy us as a family and turn it around to bring glory and honor to Him, whether that means we will get back together, I don’t know, but I do know that she has a heart after God and that we both have gone through the dark nights of the soul.
That the Lord is rebuilding our relationships with Him, restoring us, and restoration takes time, does not happen over night. The one thing that I do know, is that He has and He will never give up on either one of us.
We have been blessed with three awesome children and three super grandkids and two great son-in-laws and we both agree we have been blessed by them. Our children are a gem and a treasure to us.
Whether we get back together, I don’t know. The thing that I do know is that the Lord is wooing us both back to Him, and that is the most important thing.
Falling in love with the Lord all over again, so that we can be the instruments in His hands that He wants us to be.
The main thing that the enemy tries to do to me now, is to try and convince me, that I really do not have anything to offer in this area, the enemy will say look at you and what has happen.
I know that it is a lie. I see that because of what has happen over the last three years, and especially these last 10 months here in Kennesaw, Georgia. I know that I am in the center of God’s will for my life, in writing, sharing, encouraging and exhorting others.
I have been given the privilege and honor of praying for so many different people and because of that which I have gone through, I can share out of reality and not mere theory.
It is because we share out of reality, that we are able to reach others, because we are sharing out of that which has been made real in our lives, that in the midst of all that is going on, that we can have the peace, rest and comfort of the Lord to carry us through these times.
We are a generation were marriages are under attack, and Christian marriages are suffering a greater hit then ever before.
It drives me to my knees to pray for families, for marriages, for those that are under attack. I pray that God will indeed work and intervene in those marriages, those families.
That He will deal with fathers and husbands, to wake up and to be what God has called them to be. To be an example of Christ and to give themselves for the Lord, for their wives and for their children, that the hearts of families will be restored.
May you all be blessed and continue to keep me in your prayers in this area, that I will continue to stay focused on the Lord and see Him move on behalf of my family.
I know that my former wife has a heart after God! She is a gem and a treasure to Him and I know in the end the Lord will be lifted up in all of this and that He will not lose the battle. Our children are a testimony to our Fathers faithfulness!
October 11th, 2005 at 21:19
I’m sorry, but you’ve just been tagged. Go to my website for instruction. Thanks.
October 11th, 2005 at 21:38
you are so right. marriages surely are under attack.
:(
October 11th, 2005 at 23:24
Good post, Paul. The Lord recently called me to severe the last dangling thread in something in my life. It isn’t an easy thing to do. May God continue to bless and strengthen you and use you for His purposes.
October 11th, 2005 at 23:29
Excellent post…God bless you.
Donna
October 12th, 2005 at 00:40
Paul,
It’s been said that divorce in Christians is more than in the world, and I believe it. It’s not hard to see why. The enemy wants to destroy God’s favorite design. I’ve been married to my wife for 27 years, and it’s been 26 very hard years. Somehow, through the grace of God we’ve stayed together. There is a constant and venomous attack on marriages and families, and it will become much worse as the end nears.
I thank you for sharing your heart about your wife. I will pray for her and you and the wisdom of God to reach her.
October 12th, 2005 at 01:56
Paul, you have written with generousity and graciousness here. No one really knows what goes on in a marriage other than the 2 involved. But if more went into it in a different manner, there would be no need for time alone to find oneself. May God bless you for your transparentcy and your kindness. It is easy to see that you still love your ex and she is fortunate too that you are caring for her in this way. No one could do any more I don’t think. God will bless you for how you are living your life, I think! And you are qualified now in ways you never were before. You know if our marriages had been perfect, then we would perhaps feel proud of our own achievement there…but when we know we have gone through the fire and survived…then you can weep with others who weep and rejoice with them when they rejoice…in ways people who have not been there never can. It undoubtedly has enlarged your ministry. At great cost. I am sorry. …though we did not divorce, we came SO VERY CLOSE to it! SO CLOSE! Marriage takes more than love…it takes very hard work too. Sometimes I wonder if our society has done us a service making us believe in all this “falling in love” stuff…cause love eventually comes down to being a choice…an action…much more than feelings at times. Not that God cannot restore lost feelings…HE sure can and did for us. But we have a duty to do, we must be a good bondservant, first and foremost to our spouse and then to the rest of the family and so on. Being a bondservant is not easy stuff! Blessings on you for sharing and may you feel HIS presence so very close to you in every possible way!
Elizabeth
October 12th, 2005 at 01:59
Need to clarify a bit..I meant we need to be servants to our spouse and others…by being a bondservant to our Lord….
Elizabeth
October 13th, 2005 at 05:17
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October 13th, 2005 at 11:29
The thing I think folks love about your writing, Paul, is that you’re honest, transparent, and real. Your life is a blessing to me, whether I remember to tell you that or not. As I read your post here, I’m struck by your sheer desire to walk right before the Lord and lead others into a loving relationship with our Savior. You’re even willing to expose your flesh for the sake of drawing others closer to Christ. God bless you, my brother. I care for you and pray for you constantly. God is doing a new thing in you. Keep letting His love flow from your heart to others who come by to read your posts. You are a precious man of God and I’m proud to call you “brother.”
For His sake,
Vicki
October 13th, 2005 at 12:42
Paul,
Whatever might have transpired in your marriage or in your life previously, your life has obviously changed and you have been blessed with the ability to share these painful insights to help others in their walk with God. I know how hard it is to admit our mistakes and make them public, yet you humbly share what you have learned from personal experience. May God continue to bless your ministry.
PS - Have you noticed that Vicki has the gift of encouragement? She has a way with uplifting words.
Jan
October 13th, 2005 at 14:16
What God has shown me lately is that it is not so much the circumstances that we are given, but how he works in our hearts to handle the trial. I am so touched by your desire to serve God, the prayers you continue to lift up on their behalf, and the servants heart with which you do it…….despite the trial. I have been such a complainer for the past two years and God has finally shown me ways I can overcome…my heart has truly had to change. You are an inspiration to me as I learn to humble myself at the feet of Jesus.
Blessings
Donna
October 13th, 2005 at 15:33
Thank you for your honesty and humility.
I pray you beauty from ashes.
October 13th, 2005 at 21:14
October 13th, 2005 at 21:34
Thank you for sharing. Life is hard sometimes. I will come back to read your previous posts.
October 13th, 2005 at 22:33
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October 14th, 2005 at 00:56
What a precious post, Paul. And not surprisingly, it hits home with me. Our SS class is just starting a marriage study & wouldn’t you know? The enemy is already trying to keep us from it. We missed the first class being out of town. The second one, my dh had to go rescue an uncle who’s vehicle had broken down. He was insistant that I go anyway. So I did and was blessed.
Now, we’ve tried all week to have time to sit together & read the lessons, but something’s broken or work has kept him out or SOMETHING has happened each night.
I am discouraged. But as someone from our class said, We would not have such adversity if there wasn’t a potential there that satan is trying to squash.
So, I’m clinging to that. And I want you to know that your honest, open sharing about your marriage has been a blessing to me. Only God can bring that kind of love to life.
May He bless you abundantly and beyond measure.
~hugs~
October 14th, 2005 at 16:50
October 14th, 2005 at 19:46
Thanks Paul for sharing your journey. The enemy truly is attacking marriages in this age (I am sure he always has). God already won in that you have oppened the heart and shared your thoughts on your blog.:)
God will never forsake, nor ever leave you.
In His grip,
October 14th, 2005 at 20:52
October 14th, 2005 at 22:04
Thanks for dropping by my blog. Good post!
October 15th, 2005 at 03:46
October 15th, 2005 at 04:06
Hello Friend. I’ve joined newly on Georgia Christian Bloggers. I would like you to visit my site at http://procyon4x.blogspot.com and review it. I am a born again Christian believer. I would appreciate your help in this regard. God bless your Hill Country Thoughts site.
October 15th, 2005 at 07:42
I just happened on your blog and I was so blessed to see how transparent you are. Allowing us to see you as you really are, quite humbling to me as I read along. I will be back.
October 16th, 2005 at 22:27
howdy paul. U wrote,”It is because we share out of reality, that we are able to reach others, because we are sharing out of that which has been made real in our lives, that in the midst of all that is going on, that we can have the peace, rest and comfort of the Lord to carry us through these times.” Amen to this. It is b/c of honesty that we are able to reach out and help others. It is b/c of honesty that people get revelation from God and change their ways, and people get saved. I thank you for your honesty. We should all be honest b/c there are people out there that are in the same situation we were in, before hitting rock bottom and finding God, that need to know that there is hope out there. That there is a light at the end of that dark tunnel. Because of honesty I got saved and gave my life over to God. You are a great testimony to how good God is and to how He is always in control. Thank you for being encouraging and for being so honest. God bless you Paul. Keep writing for the King.
October 16th, 2005 at 22:34
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October 18th, 2005 at 01:01
Hope you are feeling better, Paul. I didn’t realize you were sick til I saw your tagboard comments just now. Let me know if you need anything. Only a phone call or email away. Praying for you, my friend.
October 18th, 2005 at 01:14